Steph contacted me early on in her pregnancy, openly sharing her difficult journey of IVF. Steph and Sam spent 5 years trying for a baby.
It was of course a wonderful and welcomed surprise when they fell pregnant naturally! I am aware that the heartache of infertility can be an extremely emotional and difficult road to navigate, and even when a pregnancy arises, fear often arises too. After our first conversation, I carved a space for her in my heart and kept her in my thoughts and prayers.
The pregnancy progressed beautifully. Steph attended some of my meditation classes at The Peaceful Pregnancy Circle, she recalls:
“I loved the connection with baby! It had taken some time to believe she was coming! So tuning into her during the meditations was very enjoyable “
I was continuously impressed by the way Steph graciously accepted each moment. She honoured all of the waves of emotion and change, staying present and taking time out for reflection when needed. We talked about the birth, practiced breathing, made some plans, opened to all of the possibilities that birth may bring. Steph desired a natural birth and for baby to be born in the water.
One morning I got a text saying “I think today is the day!” . That space in my heart that I had been gently holding for her fluttered. Yesssss we made it here! I honoured that moment with gratefulness and reverence. I packed my bags and off I went.
Steph was resting in bed and breathing beautifully through her surges when I arrived. I gave her a deeply relaxing massage with sweet almond oil and clary sage. I suggested a sleep and to call me when things changed.
An hour later I arrived back at the house ,I could see labour was strong. Steph was leaning over a couch, vocalising beautifully. “Harnessing the breath work during the birth became pivotal. I found it soothing and it was a really nice way to express what I was experiencing. I am sure it helped open everything up- I had read about that in the Ina May Gaskin book- allowing space and not holding allows baby to come.”
Photo Credit: Sophia Paskell
We began the work- Steph, her husband Sam and I. The massaging, the encouraging. The loving touch, the breathing. The drinks and the vomit bucket…”Captain” the dog hung out with us too, protectively watching. Labour built and built and the sun started to set. It was time to head to the Birthing Centre. It was about 6pm- which was such great timing traffic wise- these details become important when transferring a birthing woman!
Labour was stronger again when we arrived, and I filled the pool immediately. When Steph entered the bath she excitedly said “ITS SOOO MUCH BETTER IN HERE!”.
“With Sam and Sophias support, being able to stay in the moment from surge to surge and as much as I wanted to know how long it was going to take, just realising that it was completely out of my control- full surrender- which was amazing”.
At some stage, Steph said “I need to push!”. What wonderful words to hear! “Go with your body”, I encouraged. Steph reflects on this time: “The crazy thing is that time just goes. Your having these surges and they feel relentless, and you feel exhausted. Needing to be on all fours in the pool became very apparent and when I was bearing down it felt very instinctive. Also, I considered that doing this in a bed would just not be my jam! I just felt so grateful to be in the pool and able to move my body and make space”.
All of a sudden, Steph looked up at me and said “Sophia! I am going to push the head out in the next contraction!”. I was surprised by these words and thought it was rather ambitious. “You are doing beautifully Steph, keep going with your body”, I said. After the next contraction, Steph said “What is that feeling?”. The midwife suggested she have a feel. She reached down and said “Yes! The heads out!”.
At this point, she leaned back in the bath and like a Goddess, birthed her baby, reaching down to receive her! It was a mesmerising thing to witness!
Photo Credit: Sophia Paskell
I sat with the midwife and we smiled and cried and hugged each other watching the scene- two new parents falling in love! It’s a deliciously sweet sight to be seen!
I visited Steph a few days after birth. She was RADIANT! Eyes glassy, a beaming smile, the oxytocin rush still working its magic!
“I have literally never felt so empowered as a woman. Thats the crazy thing, I walked down the street the next day and wondered why people were not bowing at my feet! I gave birth! If I can do that, I can do anything!”.
To watch a woman unfold the way Steph did is simply divine! Gracefully walking the path of pain, and to then flourish with such gratitude undeniably brings a greater depth to joy! I am so honoured to witness these things.
“We are born of love. Love is our Mother” -Rumi
Photo Credit: Kimberley Rich